: Andy

*Edit* After I posted this, I watched Oprah yesterday at the gym and she had an all star women cast on discussing what they learned about their lives and what they wish they knew when they were younger. The likes of Sheryl Crow, Aretha Franklin, fashion designer Dana, and more all said to love yourself first and not to be afraid to love yourself. I guess SOMETHING I said had SOME validity. *End Edit*

What's so perfect about perfection? A little bit ago, a friend of mine started talking about this girl he's been seeing not "doing it for him". She wasn't his perfect girl and she didn't meet his LIST. You know what list I'm talking about... THE LIST where people list everything they want in a partner and refuse to date/see anything less. It's usually something like...

I want him/her to be

• hot
• have a smokin' body
• great smile
• has 3 dimples
• smart
• athletic & can do 100 pushups
• can sing sweet love-making songs to me
• dance like JT or Beyonce
• cartwheel like acrobats
• ride motorcyles like Evil Kanevil
• be able to surprise me all the time
• good at video games
• can play guitar backwards with one hand
• dark short hair
• blue eyes with hazel specks
• knows the alphabet backwards and can count to 2340982490283423498239
• 5'11"
• favorite color is aquamarine
• knows how to sew and make me clothes
• filthy stinking rich
• has no food allergies
• can tie a cherry stem in a know with tongue only
• likes reptiles...

or some other long ridiculous combination of absurd requirements. GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!

Well D told him that he needed to toss the list because when you meet the right person, YOU JUST KNOW.

That is EXACTLY how I felt/feel. It really isn't about finding the perfect person, it's about the best person for you. In the end, the perfect one IS the best one. I used to have a list on this site that went on for miles about how the person I wanted had to be like this and look like that. BLAH... what's so perfect about perfect?

Is perfect for you someone you don't fight with or get along with 100% of the time? That's not perfect for me... in fact, it's far from it. Not fighting means nothing. It means that one of you or both aren't saying a lot of what you feel, because get real... no one agrees with you 100% of the time. And if they do, they're kiss-asses. I fight with D, but after the fights, I understand him more, I understand myself better, and I value our efforts to communicate with each other.

Is perfect someone who never does anything wrong and always complies to what you want? Nope. That's wrong too because if you're always getting your way, you're going to want that more and more. It will never be enough. Thus, that is not the perfect relationship.

I'm not an authority and I sure as hell hope I'm not jinxing anything, but people ask me a lot about my great relationship and this is what I say. Get to know yourself, deal with yourself, handle your faults and understand YOU. When you least expect it, the hard work you put into growing yourself will pay off with someone else who knows their own shit. If you don't love who you are, how do you expect another person to love you and how do you expect to be able to love another?

P.S. I am one lucky girl.

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