It occurred to me within the past couple of days that I have not sincerely been crushing on anyone for a long time. And in a long time, I mean possibly over a year. Sure there were shortlived obsessions over the "perfect" guys in my life or those strangers who just wander by my way, but no real driven infatuation. Could it be that I have found comfort in asexuality again? Haha. Plus there was always that one guy I could never have, but that's something else. I just want what I can't have... typical! If I get it, it's like "ummm alright, what can I lust after next??"

Of the recent occurrences, I must raise the same question of platonic friendships again. Of course, I really don't believe that they exist. That isn't to say that I terminally want everyone I know, but you always end up toying with the idea even if you would never ever do it (that's what you tell yourself anyway). Then later in a moment of surrender, you shake your head and ask yourself, "what the hell just happened?" when you realized that you're digging on the friend who has been around for years or vice versa and one of you finally made a damn move.

It definitely makes life interesting. So anyway, I still am partially in denial that I can buy my own liq because I drove by the liquor stores the other night and thought, "Oh I should get Karen to buy me some rum." AFter about 5 seconds I was like, holy shit, I CAN FREAKIN' BUY IT. I'm a dumbass, I know.

Last night, we cruised back out to the infamous Montes. I had a lot of fun, I just wished other people did as well. It was almost like me coming back to life again... talking to random people, being myself, not caring what the hell I was doing and who was watching. I already tossed my digits out there, which wow I haven't done in awhile for anyone I thought was interesting enough. I made it into work just fine today and avoided a hangover. It's like a ghosttown today though because a lot of people took off for the Labor Day Weekend. I am going home to see my beautifuls tomorrow after I get in some more kickboxing. I'm excited because one of my aunties from Vietnam just moved into my moms house last month. I'm a little worried though that the same thing could happen again like when my other auntie came to town. I just don't need a shot to my self-esteem. But baby, I'm back again... so how you doin'?

Categorized: Dating, Partying