I fear those relationships in which people claim to never fight. The way I see it, a couple who does not fight, does not get a chance to evaluate what they have. If you always got A's in school, you'll never feel that true victory of overcoming straight C's. If you were never poor, you will never truly value being rich. If you were never single, you don't know what it's like to know yourself and value independence. Basically, to have, we must be a have not at some point to appreciate and value having.

And to never have your heart broken, you will never know what it is like to have lost and you probably won't appreciate love. Without loss, we truly cannot measure how deeply we feel for the other person. It does not have to be complete loss. It can simply be the feeling that it could be lost. If we know that what we might have may not last forever, don't you think we would work just a little bit harder to appreciate it while we have it?

This doesn't mean, go out and pick a fight for no reason. It doesn't connotate ruining your relationship/friendship just to see where it will end up. It doesn't mean give up your wealth to grow humble. Perhaps it just means that evaluating where you are may just be a little harder if you aren't a have-not at some point.

I have been a have-not in many categories. And so I have worked my ass off to be a have. In my path to becoming a have, I am humbled and appreciative of the blessings in my life because of the memories I have of being a have-not. Do you think that a girl who always got diamonds, would value another one as much as a girl who never got one but finally did? Supposedly, it's all about relativity.

I appreciate being a have-not and being a have. Both perspectives will remain an impact on my life and I hope that you appreciate yours.

Categorized: Thoughts, Love

Today, on February 20, 2007 on my way to work, my 2001 Honda Accord EX-V6 hit 100,000 miles.

I get to treat her to a flush and an oil change this weekend. And a car wash. She needs one.

Categorized: Events

Every morning, I come into my office and it feels like my stuff has been moved out of place. One day it could be a picture, another day it could be a paper with some notes scribbled on it. Huge changes might be that my chair has been moved out from in front of my computer screen. This is so odd.

I know that the recycling people come through and clear out the blue bin, but I wonder if they make it part of their jobs to intentionally screw with those plagued with OCD. I could always attribute the dislocation of my belongings to a tremendous winter draft, but I don't sit anywhere near a door. Maybe I'm more careless than I think I am... but that's just implausible.

Those recyclers are the culprits. Tricky. I wonder what they would do if I left something unpleasant in the recycling bin... like a tampon or some jumbo size condom wrappers?

Categorized: Work

You've played it. I'm pretty sure about this. You walk up to a public place somewhere, perhaps a restaurant, and someone else starts walking to the exact same location. They are exactly the same distance away from the doors as you are and you are both walking at the same pace. Do you slow down to let them open the door or do you speed up to open the door for them?

It's easy it if is a dude and a girl. The dude better start speeding up... and he better not slam the door. But it's the same-sex door dance game that incurs the mental conversation, "Oh crap, should I speed up? Should I slow down? She's getting closer... WHAT DO I DO? Where the hell did she come from anyway?"

I can't be the only person who participates in the door dance game. More often, I dwadle and start to slow down. This is when the other person opens the door and waits for my slow ass to run up to the door and say thank you. Sometimes, if I see potential door-dancers walking towards the doors, I will sit in my car and wait until they have cleared the potential door-dance area.

You probably don't do that. It's just me and my sporadic dosage of agoraphobia.

Categorized: Thoughts

Seriously... 84 year old man wins $254 million. I don't think he has to worry about his retirement anymore.

I don't think I have much to add to this except... "that lucky bastard!"

In other news... the Dutch open a nudist gym...

I don't know about you, but there are a lot of people I do NOT want to see nekkit, let alone with their junk flopping about on the treadmill or grunting in their birthday suits lifting 300 lbs. Hmm, maybe Brad Pitt... grunting... naked... hmm, let's skip the gym...

Categorized: Miscellaneous

I was putting away my jewelry when I found pieces I had never worn yet. This is often the case with any apparel or accessory item that I have. But what I noticed were the many pieces I "bought" just to satisfy the "Buy two, get one free" deals.

Why is it that whenever they have a buy two, get one free sale or buy one, get 3 free sale (C. Russe), that you can NEVER find that exact number of items that you like? I always just pick something that I might wear one day so I end up with crap I don't use. They lure me in with the sale sign and I end up buying even though my free item wasn't worth the hassle.

Categorized: Product

After being able to see across many rooms immediately after surgury, I have learned that I was probably (I mean, was) a rude starer during my glass-wearing days. Case in point: I went to the gym on the Friday before surgury. I was happily sweating with my cardio when I turned to see who was in the hot tub. I looked through the frosted glass to see a gentleman relaxing in the jets. I glanced often, purely because I had nothing to look at and I figured the frosted glass was enough for my glances to go unnoticed. After surgury, I returned to the gym. Not only was the glass unfrosted, but you could totally see that I was staring at people in the hot tub/pool.

A week after surgury, I visited the bar and for the first time, I SAW people. I SAW the bar. I never realized what bars looked like. Then I realized that before surgury (I don't wear glasses out), I had a tendency to look at people in the bars for awhile because I couldn't see them. Who knows how many people thought I was staring at them! I could have been looking at some dude one time trying to figure out if he's hot, but he could have been thinking, "Why is that weird Asian chick staring?" I know, because I am 99% of the time classified as an Asian chick. I don't go around calling you "White dudes"... anyway, that's another rant.

Well now my staring days are over! Staring unintentionally anyway. After 10 years of being rude and not recognizing or noticing people, I am finally free! Now I will have to learn how to stare politely .

Categorized: Thoughts

Dear Sorry Excuse for a Man,

She is not your grandmother. She is ours. She is not your family. She is ours. I refuse to share her with you. She would not call you her son. If she did, it would be in direct translation to son-of-a-bitch.

She is her granddaughter. She was supposed to celebrate her 21st with her 60th this coming May. 71 candles. 3 generations. I was going to be there to see everyone together. We don't get many chances together. Now, we won't get even that many chances.

We were close. Then you crossed the line and for some reason beyond my understanding, it was allowed. You are a sorry excuse for a man. I bet you'd ask her to wipe your ass if you could. You have single-handedly reverted all progress that we have made. Not because I allow it, but because she allowed it. She has this unnecessary idea that we will leave her. Perhaps it is because I have started my new life and she fears that I will not go back to the old one. She forgets that she taught me better than that. Because she fears, she settled.

I was raised to be strong and to respect my elders. You might be old, but my strength will not allow me to respect you. Screw culture if it requires me to comply to you. If they say that I am un-honorable and disobedient, I will introduce them to you and they will understand. Nobody likes you. You're a tumor.

Categorized: Family, Grr

I am a busy girl. No, I am not implying that you aren't busy. I just am. In my ideal world, I would be able to watch Grey's Anatomy, work out, do homework, and clean my apartment all at once. Maybe the situation would look like this: homework with my right hand, listening to the television while on an elliptical machine and cleaning with the left hand. Throw in setting up window panels and running errands and now I have created a conundrum. There just aren't enough hours in the day.

There are flaws to my ideal situation. I would miss the visual quirks of Grey's Anatomy, start writing their witty whips on my math-based homework, and probably start slicking up the elliptical with orange-scented cleaning fluid, leading to my demise. I forgot to throw sleep in there somewhere. This new life I have created has thrown me back into go-go-go mode.

The positive to this new life is that I don't have to clean off my car in the morning since I have covered parking. (If snow ever decides to wind around the building onto my car, I will just stop working.) The gym is downstairs so I save half an hour traveling to and from the gym each day. Once my apartment is done, the cleaning will stay rather minimum, since I wash dishes as I eat and I have a clean boyfriend. The homework will be ongoing, but I have a quiet place to do it. I could even do it naked and no one would know either, save my couch. I really don't do that, but how would you really know?

So in two years, I will be 24 with my masters and maybe THEN I won't have to worry about homework. There is that lingering thought that I will head back AGAIN for another degree. When will it end? My theory is this: Once I stop being busy with one thing, I will fill that void with something else. Actually, it isn't a theory anymore. Rather, it's a solid explanation to my insanity. Maybe I just need another chapter... a non-school, education, academic chapter. I'm still in the education chapter since being new to the real working world has shown me that I need to know more.

So if I finally decide that I have enough degrees to take over the world locally, I would probably fill that "free time" out of school with a family... or a company... or both. Something like that. I really can't imagine why or how people who aren't busy-- don't stay busy.

Categorized: Miscellaneous